On the Blog

Yesterday, Mjohnson gave me some more advice on blogging.

The man is a blogging guru and it will pay to heed his (albeit contradictory) advice.

He gave me a choice of Four styles I should go for in honing my blog-foetus:

1.Popularity.
Mjohnson writes: "go for a niche, one idea/joke blog. You can do it on a subject you're interested in such as Oxford F.C. you boring sod. This means you can quickly get a readership, but it constrains what you can write about and in the case of a joke, it will eventually wear thin."

FMO Retorts: Hmm, yes good idea. I am concerned with your caveat that it will indeed limit what I can write. Plus, the only things I know well enough to write about regularly are the Third Reich and Oxford United; one of which is a depressing, ghastly subject that will offend some readers' sensibilities and the other of which is the Third Reich. (Ho Ho Ho, I bet you didn't see that one coming!).

Having a separate blog for OUFC means I can free my options all round whilst not putting off people like Mjohnson who don't want to read about shit football.

2. Diary.
Mjohnson writes: "You can write down your innermost thoughts for the Internet to review. These people are losers. I use my own life only for inspiration and I'm quite happy to lie if it makes the story more interesting ."

FMO Retorts: Well I'm no loser. No sir-ee. No losers here!
That said, I did initially start this with the intent of it being an open journal of thoughts. Yet I wasn't going to make it about inner-most thoughts as this might get me into trouble with the Austrian authorities should I ever want to visit.
Like the idea of using own life as inspiration for ramblings - kind of like a Michael McIntyre/Peter Kay style observational. Can't wait for the post about Garlic Bread, Mjohnson!


3. Art Form.
Mjohnson writes: "hardly ever post, write and then re-write every post until it is perfect. There are many well written, well thought out posts that are brilliant. You'll need to decide if you really care."

FMO Retorts: Nah.

So, my conclusions were to:
a.) Start a separate blog about Oxford United.
b.) Use events in my life as a starting point for random musings. Try not to make it anything like a Peter Kay routine.
c.) Not worry about it being perfect and well writtan.
d.) Probably ignore Mjohnson's advice completely and do none of the above.

Let this be an end to Blog-chat.


It will start to get interesting now, I promise.

No Good (Re-start the Blog)

Well, it's a bit rich to stake a claim to a be re-starting a blog that to date only has a single, one sentence entry which itself was almost 4 years ago - but that's what I'm doing.

Doing this on a whim really, but sub-consciously it may be due to having spent some of the afternoon flicking through some old diaries from 1999-2000, which i came across as i was clearing the flat out a bit.

All a bit cringey really.

I remember being around 22 (my age at the time of these diaries) and looking back at my 1997 diary and being absolutely appalled at my 18 year old self. There was a splattering of mildly racist comments (posing with a thinly-covered veil as patriotism), preoccupation with the self and misogynistic comments about a girl who worked for my parents at the time i quite fancied. My 22 year-old self guffawed in shame and snorted the McDonald's I was probably eating through my nose as I read how the 18 year old me wondered if this attractive, articulate 25 year old would be interested in having sex with me? As it turns out, i can reveal with hindsight she wasn't. I don't think she really missed out on anything at the time.

So, how strange it was today as a 31 year-old to be reading the 22 year old me and my turgid commentary on the world around me (mostly very closely around me, as well - not much talk of politics or current affairs in these babies - it's hardly worthy of a time capsule entry) and to be similarly appalled at the same self me. The only thing different today is that the 31 year-old me snorted red pepper humus through my nose in disgust this time round.

The 22 year-old me that i stumbled upon was in an angsty dilemma over girls, unsurprisingly. I even noted I'd put something along the lines of "oh my god my life is so shit, i really cant live without X*, but on a plus note, Y** texted me today and may be interested, and Z*** is coming round for sex on Friday, that'll be good." It wasn't exactly that, but it was pretty bloody close.

So reading those moribund, self-obsessed entries may have been the spark for this bloggery, but I have been meaning to re-start a diary for a while anyway - if only so the 43 year-old me can snort organic lima-bean salad from his nostrils as he reads back at how pathetic my 31 year-old self was.

Hopefully I'll keep this one up. Not really bothered if people end up reading it or not, I'm doing this very much for my own benefit. Although saying that it would probably be quite interesting to hear people's opinions on my ramblings so hello if anyone is out there, feel free to comment. But really, it's just easier to keep it all stored up here online and it feels that bit more exciting - so hopefully i will keep it up.

Just have to find something to talk about.

Ummm, X Factor is on at the moment - Lady Gaga has just said she is a "Free Bitch, Baby". Fair enough my dear.

I'll try and find something more interesting to talk about next time.


*that wasn't actually her name.
**neither was that.
***that was her name actually. Old Z was a right old sort.