No Good (Re-start the Blog)

Well, it's a bit rich to stake a claim to a be re-starting a blog that to date only has a single, one sentence entry which itself was almost 4 years ago - but that's what I'm doing.

Doing this on a whim really, but sub-consciously it may be due to having spent some of the afternoon flicking through some old diaries from 1999-2000, which i came across as i was clearing the flat out a bit.

All a bit cringey really.

I remember being around 22 (my age at the time of these diaries) and looking back at my 1997 diary and being absolutely appalled at my 18 year old self. There was a splattering of mildly racist comments (posing with a thinly-covered veil as patriotism), preoccupation with the self and misogynistic comments about a girl who worked for my parents at the time i quite fancied. My 22 year-old self guffawed in shame and snorted the McDonald's I was probably eating through my nose as I read how the 18 year old me wondered if this attractive, articulate 25 year old would be interested in having sex with me? As it turns out, i can reveal with hindsight she wasn't. I don't think she really missed out on anything at the time.

So, how strange it was today as a 31 year-old to be reading the 22 year old me and my turgid commentary on the world around me (mostly very closely around me, as well - not much talk of politics or current affairs in these babies - it's hardly worthy of a time capsule entry) and to be similarly appalled at the same self me. The only thing different today is that the 31 year-old me snorted red pepper humus through my nose in disgust this time round.

The 22 year-old me that i stumbled upon was in an angsty dilemma over girls, unsurprisingly. I even noted I'd put something along the lines of "oh my god my life is so shit, i really cant live without X*, but on a plus note, Y** texted me today and may be interested, and Z*** is coming round for sex on Friday, that'll be good." It wasn't exactly that, but it was pretty bloody close.

So reading those moribund, self-obsessed entries may have been the spark for this bloggery, but I have been meaning to re-start a diary for a while anyway - if only so the 43 year-old me can snort organic lima-bean salad from his nostrils as he reads back at how pathetic my 31 year-old self was.

Hopefully I'll keep this one up. Not really bothered if people end up reading it or not, I'm doing this very much for my own benefit. Although saying that it would probably be quite interesting to hear people's opinions on my ramblings so hello if anyone is out there, feel free to comment. But really, it's just easier to keep it all stored up here online and it feels that bit more exciting - so hopefully i will keep it up.

Just have to find something to talk about.

Ummm, X Factor is on at the moment - Lady Gaga has just said she is a "Free Bitch, Baby". Fair enough my dear.

I'll try and find something more interesting to talk about next time.


*that wasn't actually her name.
**neither was that.
***that was her name actually. Old Z was a right old sort.