I now have 5 confirmed regular readers of this blog.
That's quite exciting.
4 of them are actually just old friends, so they may just be being polite. I'm even marrying one of them, so she is definitely just being polite (Not about marrying me, about reading this).
I thought I'd give you a few FACTS I do know about these 5...
- 2 of them are multi-Lingual.
- 3 of them have willies (unconfirmed).
- 1 of them invited me to his house to watch a movie about wrestling last year.
- 3 of them I have lived with at some point in my life.
- 2 of them have lived in Hong Kong.
- 1 of them has attempted to hunt and kill a squirrel with me.
- 2 of them are engaged.
- 2 of them are vacant.
- 2 of them I've never spent New Years Eve with.
- 2 of them I went to university with.
- 3 of them have never seen active service in the armed forces. Neither have the other 2.
- 1 of them used to live in Hackney, but always said it was 'Finsbury Park'.
- 1 of them I used to work with.
- 1 of them thinks 9/11 was 'just a bit of a laugh, really.'
- 1 of them once danced with me in my garden at dawn, both of us only in underpants.
- 1 of them grew up 'on the edge of the Cotswolds'
- 1 of them is neutral.
- 1 of them is living in a 'Truman Show' style constructed reality TV show but doesn't know it.
- 1 of them once pissed in a washing machine whilst drunk, in Holland.
- 3 of them I have slept in the same bed as.
- 2 of them have no concept of The Avocado.
- 1 of them has children.
- 2 of them have been children at some point in their life, but are not anymore.
- 1 of them is entitled to Irish citizenship & thinking of applying, even though the closest they've been to Ireland is stroking an Irish Setter once.
- 4 of them have been to at least one football game with me.
- 2 are openly racist and when drunk usually get round to saying that Enoch Powell 'wasn't all wrong'.
Interesting, eh?
Finsbury Park is in the BOROUGH of Hackney but stands alone as an area in its own right, thanks to the eponymous park. Hackney (the municipal centre, not the borough), is a couple of miles east of FP. But both fall under the banner of the borough. In fact, FP interestingly straddles the boroughs of Islington, Hackney and Haringey. So there.
ReplyDeleteAnd Stoke Newington lies between Highbury and Hackney.
Correction: TWO of them used to live in Hackney, but said it was Finsbury Park.
ReplyDeleteBoth statements are correct. We did live in the BOROUGH of Hackney.
ReplyDeleteAnd simultaneously in London's 'vibrant' and 'edgy' (i.e. dangerous) Finsbury Park, because it is IN the BOROUGH OF HACKNEY.
Write to Diane Abbott - she'll clarify it for you. If she's not too busy with Michael Portillo.
2 of them were born at Queen Mary's Hospital in Rohampton in 1978.
ReplyDelete2 are openly racists? Very bad of them! They could take the example of the other three and practice racism 'under cover', I mean... everybody knows Enoch Powell "wasn't all wrong", but why get around and say it loud? Talking loud is bad manners.
ReplyDelete3 of them have willies? We demand proof.
I believe I had an 'overshirt' on, as well as underpants on that giddy morning.
ReplyDeleteThat's not how I remember it, fondly.
ReplyDeleteتطهير وتعقيم الفلل والقصور في عجمان
ReplyDeleteشركات تعقيم الفلل دبى تطهير الفلل والقصور عجمان
شركة جلي وتلميع رخام بالكاشىى دبي
ReplyDeleteشركة جلي رخام بالماسى دبي
ارخص شركة جلي وتلميع رخام دبي
افضل شركة جلي وتلميع رخام دبي